look at you, big boy!

Oh sweet jay bird, i'm a little bit late on getting these pictures posted.  we have been pretty busy.



so, this is your pre-laugh face. i LOVE seeing it because i know a big belly laugh is coming.



 I am pretty much obsessed with your arm rolls.

and leg rolls.

 

 and old man hair line.

 well shoot. i guess all of you.

 especially those eyes. whoa. i'm so glad you got those from your daddy.

 did i mention you're basically a professional sitter these days? show off.

dinosaur pjs and storytime. does life get any better than that?

i am SO lucky to be your mom.  i love you.

three months

wow. i'm shocked it's already (past) time to write all about you. where does the time go?  you are getting SO big and SO independent.  it's amazing to see how much you change daily.

you are wearing size 2 diapers these days. i swear they are getting snug though. how is that possible?

you still wear six months clothes pretty comfortably- although we are having to buy new, cooler clothes now that it's already 90 degrees outside some days!

you are just getting over your first little cold. it sure was a yucky couple of weeks at our house.  i think daddy and i may have a little of what you just got over. that's no fun. :(

you have started grabbing for things. you LOVE to play on your play mat and grab for the toys that hang down.  you are also reallllly into your new teething toy bumblebee.  i think your favorite is still to grab my hair or shirt. when you are super sleepy, your grab becomes a bit of a violent one. i have to watch out for that!

you are FINALLY on a decent schedule.  you are eating about every three hours but, when we are lucky, you sleep a full six at night. hallelujah!  your bottles are usually about five ounces- still half and half. you sure do love your bottles!  when you are ready for one, as soon as you hear me shaking it you calm right down. genius.

you are also kind of taking a "passy".  i'll tell you- i'm not really a fan of those things.  they are just SO ugly and form bad habits so quickly. BUT the doctor says it will help you learn to "self soothe" and help your teeth feel better so i suppose we will let you have one.  it sure does make you smile.  i have a feeling i'll cave for anything that makes you smile.  that's dangerous.

you are FULL of smiles lately and, in fact, love to give us a little giggle sometimes.  i've only heard you do it a few times.  they are like little gifts just for me. you are learning to really use your voice these days.  you talk, coo and ah-goo all the time.  it is perfectly precious.  i think your favorite person ever is your daddy. he had to go out of town for a few days and we really missed him.  when he got back you seemed SO much happier.  seeing the two of you makes me melt. 

tonight's goal: three month pictures of you, sweet boy.

love you more each day
-mom

a blessing through my tears

when i was little, nana stayed home with uncle chase and me.  i have the fondest memories of going to the zoo on weekdays, making homemade play dough just because we could, and sliding in the mcdonalds play place at least once a week.  when i realized i wouldn't get to stay home with you i was completely devestated.  guess i was so excited about having a baby, i didn't even think about combining my role as a teacher with being a wife and (the most important job of all) MOM! while i absolutely LOVE my job, i was terrified to choose someone for you to stay with.  how do you pick someone to keep part of your heart?  i have had you with me at all times for nearly a year!  carrying you during pregnancy and sneaking away only for a few minutes at a time made me have serious attachment issues.  (i'm just fine with being obsessed with you.  i think that's a sign of true love really) i put off my decision for several weeks because the mere thought made me nauseous.  i chose not to think about it or discuss it with anyone because i was in denial that i was actually going back to work.  finally, a week before going back to work, through lots of prayer and honest discussions with everyone i know, we decided to give daycare a shot.  to be honest, i have always hated the idea of daycares.  snotty noses, bratty kids, and inexperienced teachers.  needless to say, i was completely dreading your first day. 
daddy and i woke up together to have coffee and pray together.  i got dressed in work clothes for the first time in months and actually fixed my hair. (gasp) i got you up and tried my best to prepare you for the upcoming day.  you were in THE BEST mood! you smiled and talked to me and reassured me that you couldn't wait to meet new kids and hug on your teachers.  okay maybe i made that up, but it makes me feel better to think that so just hush.  when i walked in the daycare an overwhelming sense of peace and relief washed over me.  i know people were covering us with serious prayer because, although i cried and aunt lindsey had to reassure me about 979 times, i just KNEW it was going to be fine.  mrs. suzanne picked you right up and hugged you and kissed you and told me she would take great care of you.  she is an absolute blessing!  we are so lucky!
i got to work, taught my sweet students and made it through the day without crying!  when 3:45 came, i practically pushed kids out of my way to make it back to the daycare, but when i got there you were actually SMILING!  it was your little way of saying "wow! i love this place! the kids are fun, the teachers are wonderful and i LOVE play time!"  your daycare is a total blessing to our family.  while i still hope and pray that one day the timing will be right to stay home with you, in the meantime you are in the best hands.(besides mine of course)

love is an understatement,
mom

two months

i can't believe it's already time to write your two month post. i'm actually already a week behind! you certainly are a BIG boy! at your last doctor visit, they said you weigh 12 pounds 6 ounces and are 24 1/2 inches long. whoa. you are eating about 6 ounces at a time every three or so hours, but sometimes you prefer to have little snacks throughout the day. it's pretty exhausting when you play that game. you are working SO hard to hold your head up. you've pretty much mastered it. you also LOVE to be propped up to sit.  i think you like watching everything going on around you.  my "books" say you should be smiling by the end of this month- but once again you are ahead of the game.  you are FULL of smiles. i can't tell you how sweet it is to see you smile at me. it's like your way of telling me "mom i love you- you're doing a great job!" you are starting to make lots of baby noises. you goo and gaa and LOVE to hear your own voice.  we often mimic each other. that keeps you satisfied for a long time.  you still like riding in the car but get pretty frustrated if we stop moving.  something tells me you'll be quite the busy toddler. you are officially wearing size two diapers and 3-6 month clothes. i've been packing away clothes as you outgrow them. we have two boxes filled to bursting.  it makes me pretty sad to put things away... just a tangible reminder of how big you are getting and how fast you will grow up. i'm not doing well with this whole thing. you have already changed so much. i want to soak up every little thing you do. every face you make, every outfit you wear.... that sounds silly, but every moment with you m akes me want to just sit and watch every move you make! i know i can't do that, so i've been doing my best to keep up with it all through pictures. these were taken over a few days recently--

2.23.12

you're official!

i'm only a month late...

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one whole month!

i've sat down to update this thing a zillion times but we are so busy these days i rarely have the time to write more than a sentence. we aren't busy as in going places. we are busy as in eating, sleeping, pooping, peeing, spitting up, changing clothes, pooping again, crying, and starting all over to eat again. i wanted this blog to be perfect. i wanted the words to be carefully chosen, well written and thoughtful. i've now decided to just let things being "alright" be okay.

i am taking pictures like a mad woman but i never sit down to upload them, print them, share them, post them or do much of anything except let them collect on my camera. hm. i'll have to change that.

we've been to the doctor twice and she says you're doing great! the cardiologist released you, and, in fact, told me to never bring you back again. when you were born and we heard about your miracle they told us your heart would be assymetrical and the wall between your ventricles would be thin. at your last appointment, your heart shows NO signs of defects. God didn't just heal your heart- he perfected it! WOW!

you are eating every 2-3 hours. i can't keep up with you so we started giving you formula when you want it, which is pretty often. i think you got your eating habits from me. i always choose to graze throughout the day. snacks? yes please! you are a LOUD eater. you groan and mmm and slurp. those noises are just TOO sweet! you are also a LOUD tooter. you make dad and me laugh out loud all the time with your gas.

sometimes i catch you smiling. everyone says that's just from gas but i choose to think otherwise. you little gummy crooked smile is precious. you've also learned how to frown. it breaks my heart. i think i'd stand on my head if i thought you'd stop frowning.

you wear 0-3 months mostly. you are so long and have such long legs we need 0-3 for length but your belly is so skinny your pants won't stay up. that, you did not inherit from me. ;)

you LOVE your daddy and you LOVE tummy time. when you have the two of them together- you are in heaven. when i see the two of you together- my heart melts. more on that another day.

sleeping is something you're quite particular about. you prefer to sleep on your tummy- which is the least safe of all sleeping positions. you also prefer to sleep on your mommy- which is the least convenient of all sleeping locations. i love cuddling with you and have decided to be thankful for such a cuddle bug instead of being upset that you refuse to sleep anywhere else.

being your mom is a blessing. i've learned to let the dishes sit in the sink, watch the laundry grow into a mound instead of a pile and let my hair go an extra day between washings. living in the moment and soaking up every memory is life these days. i wouldn't have it any other way.

i love you little man.

-mom