when i was little, nana stayed home with uncle chase and me. i have the fondest memories of going to the zoo on weekdays, making homemade play dough just because we could, and sliding in the mcdonalds play place at least once a week. when i realized i wouldn't get to stay home with you i was completely devestated. guess i was so excited about having a baby, i didn't even think about combining my role as a teacher with being a wife and (the most important job of all) MOM! while i absolutely LOVE my job, i was terrified to choose someone for you to stay with. how do you pick someone to keep part of your heart? i have had you with me at all times for nearly a year! carrying you during pregnancy and sneaking away only for a few minutes at a time made me have serious attachment issues. (i'm just fine with being obsessed with you. i think that's a sign of true love really) i put off my decision for several weeks because the mere thought made me nauseous. i chose not to think about it or discuss it with anyone because i was in denial that i was actually going back to work. finally, a week before going back to work, through lots of prayer and honest discussions with everyone i know, we decided to give daycare a shot. to be honest, i have always hated the idea of daycares. snotty noses, bratty kids, and inexperienced teachers. needless to say, i was completely dreading your first day.
daddy and i woke up together to have coffee and pray together. i got dressed in work clothes for the first time in months and actually fixed my hair. (gasp) i got you up and tried my best to prepare you for the upcoming day. you were in THE BEST mood! you smiled and talked to me and reassured me that you couldn't wait to meet new kids and hug on your teachers. okay maybe i made that up, but it makes me feel better to think that so just hush. when i walked in the daycare an overwhelming sense of peace and relief washed over me. i know people were covering us with serious prayer because, although i cried and aunt lindsey had to reassure me about 979 times, i just KNEW it was going to be fine. mrs. suzanne picked you right up and hugged you and kissed you and told me she would take great care of you. she is an absolute blessing! we are so lucky!
i got to work, taught my sweet students and made it through the day without crying! when 3:45 came, i practically pushed kids out of my way to make it back to the daycare, but when i got there you were actually SMILING! it was your little way of saying "wow! i love this place! the kids are fun, the teachers are wonderful and i LOVE play time!" your daycare is a total blessing to our family. while i still hope and pray that one day the timing will be right to stay home with you, in the meantime you are in the best hands.(besides mine of course)
love is an understatement,
mom
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